Financial Crisis? What Financial Crisis?
Vampires, mortgages and one thoroughly disagreeable dwarf
In 2008, the world's financial system came perilously close to collapse. Banks failed, fortunes disappeared, governments panicked and regulators were left wondering quite how it had all happened.
It was, depending on your point of view, a catastrophe, an embarrassment or an opportunity.
But what if the whole business had taken place in a world populated by dwarfs, witches, vampires and werewolves?
That is the rather improbable starting point for Seagrum the Dwarf, a darkly comic fantasy novel in which the financial excesses of the real world find their counterparts in an altogether less respectable imaginary one.
Meet Seagrum
Seagrum is a dwarf. He is also a mercenary, a thief, an opportunist and, by almost any reasonable measure, an unpleasant individual.
He is not particularly interested in saving the world. He has little regard for authority, even less for conventional morality, and a healthy appreciation of anything that might make him richer.
Unfortunately for everyone concerned, he has a habit of becoming involved in matters considerably larger than himself.
Among those whose paths cross his are Persephone, a witch with good reason to dislike him; Vinegorod, a vampire with an eye for business; and the Magister of the Hue and Cry, an organisation responsible for maintaining a degree of order in a world where order is frequently in short supply.
None is entirely what they seem, although Seagrum makes relatively little effort to seem anything other than what he is.
The business of being a vampire
Vampires have traditionally been associated with blood, immortality and an unfortunate tendency to avoid daylight.
In Seagrum the Dwarf, they have discovered something potentially even more rewarding: finance.
The Death Pledge, a financial arrangement bearing a passing resemblance to the modern mortgage, offers opportunities that are difficult for an enterprising vampire to resist.
And where there are financial opportunities, there are inevitably people prepared to exploit them.
As the business expands, the distinction between financial ingenuity and outright lunacy becomes increasingly difficult to identify.
The authorities, naturally, have everything under control.
Or at least that is what they would prefer everyone to believe.
A fantasy with a familiar problem
Although the novel draws inspiration from the financial crisis of 2008, it isn't a textbook about banking, mortgages or economics. No knowledge of financial services is required, and readers who have never encountered a mortgage-backed security need not worry.
The financial crisis provides the underlying absurdity. The story itself belongs to Seagrum and the extraordinary collection of individuals who have the misfortune to encounter him.
There are plots, betrayals, magical complications, political manoeuvrings and a fair amount of violence. There are also dwarfs who behave like dwarfs, vampires who behave like bankers, and regulators who occasionally behave like neither.
The result is a fantasy in which greed, ambition, self-interest and incompetence are hardly confined to the human race.
Not quite your conventional fantasy hero
Readers looking for a noble warrior destined to defeat evil and restore harmony to the world may find Seagrum something of a disappointment.
He has no particular desire to restore harmony. Indeed, he is frequently responsible for disturbing it.
Nevertheless, there is a certain consistency to his character. He understands what he wants, generally knows how to obtain it and is remarkably unconcerned about what others think of his methods.
Whether these qualities make him a hero is a question best left to the reader.
About the novel
Seagrum the Dwarf is a standalone, darkly comic fantasy by David Payne, combining the conventions of fantasy adventure with a satirical look at the financial world.
Its inspiration lies partly in the extraordinary events surrounding the financial crisis, but its characters inhabit a world entirely their own.
And although the financial crisis may be familiar, the manner in which events unfold is rather less predictable.
After all, when vampires become bankers and werewolves become regulators, what could possibly go wrong?
Seagrum the Dwarf — by David Payne
Available to download free from TheQuay.
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