The flooded valley that the River Dart runs through does some interesting things with clouds, rain, mist and fog. None of them more strange than recently when on a walk around the boat float, we noticed wafts of grey smoke floating up through the town behind where we live. We assumed it was a fire of some sort or a barbecue that had gotten out of control but it was weird that there were no emergency services hanging around. Naturally curious (or just plain nosey) we wandered along the South Embankment to locate the source of the fire. There clearly wasn't a source on this side of the river and looking out towards the estuary we were confronted with the site of a narrow blanket of smoke originating on the Kingswear bank and hugging the river as it crossed over to our side. It didn't smell like smoke and it didn't behave like smoke. That was probably because in fact it wasn't smoke at all. A search of the internet showed no clear signs of localised fires although there was a boat or caravan fire about 7 miles away. This event was not it. It took a while to find but eventually we discovered that the thing was a sea fog or Haar. Thinking about it, it would have taken quite a fire to produce the amount of 'smoke' that this fog clearly was. That is especially so if you take a look at the lack of visibility that occured at its best or worst . The estuary mouth was completely obscured and Dartmouth castle was nowhere to be seen as you can see from the following images. So what is a haar? A sea haar (sometimes called a sea fret) is a dense coastal fog that forms when warm, moist air passes over colder seawater. The air cools rapidly, causing the moisture within it to condense into a blanket of mist or fog that can drift ashore and dramatically reduce visibility. Although the term is most commonly associated with the east coast of Scotland, the same phenomenon can occur anywhere around the UK coast where the sea is significantly colder than the air above it. In Dartmouth, the recent event that many people noticed was likely caused by warm, humid air moving in from the south-west over the still-cool waters of the English Channel. As the air cooled over the sea, fog developed and was then carried into the Dart Estuary by light onshore winds. Once established, the haar can be remarkably localised, with thick fog covering the waterfront while higher ground a short distance away remains clear. A sea haar often appears suddenly, giving the impression that it is "rolling in" from the sea. Temperatures can fall by several degrees within minutes, and visibility may drop to only a few hundred metres. Around Dartmouth, this can create dramatic scenes where Kingswear, the estuary and vessels on the river seem to disappear into a grey-white curtain, before re-emerging as the fog slowly lifts later in the day. In short, a sea haar is not smoke or pollution but a natural weather phenomenon caused by the meeting of warm moist air and colder sea water.

fancied some scones with clotted cream and jam recently and so researched a suitable recipe based on Mrs Beeton. Since our downsizing move a year ago we haven't had access to all the equipment we used to have and so didn't have any means to cut out the scones. We therefore went for a simple round to be divided into 8 segments. We tried a number of recipes and ended up with the following Ingredients 250 g self-raising flour Pinch of salt 60 g cold butter, diced 25–40 g caster sugar (we used 28g) 140–150 ml milk 1 tsp vanilla extract A little milk or beaten egg for glazing ( we skipped this) Method Heat the oven to 220°C / 200°C fan. Line a baking tray with baking paper. Rub the butter into the flour and salt until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. Stir in the sugar, if using. Add the vanilla essence to the milk and then add most of the milk and mix with a knife until a soft dough forms. Add the remaining milk only if needed. Tin the bowl gently bring together. Do not knead. Pat into a round about 20 cm (8 inches) across and 2–3 cm thick. Place on the tray and score 8 segments on the top, cutting down about half way through the mix. Use a wet knife if it sticks. Brush with milk or egg if using. Bake for 18–22 minutes or a little over until well risen and golden. remove from oven . Will sound slightly hollow if done. Place on a wire rack to cool. Serve warm with butter, jam (blueberry) , and clotted cream. The round should be cut into wedges.

The following is a base for chip shop and katsu curry. In other words when you want a quick fix artificial curry. Ingredients 2 tbsp chicken fat 1 tbsp flour 1 to 2 tbsp medium roasted curry powder 1 tsp turmeric ( for katsu curry option see Method) 3 tbsps of stock from a roasted chicken carcass - the stuff you normally make the gravy with Water to dilute as appropriate Method Make a roux and then stir in the curry powder and turmeric if you’re making katsu. If you can get authentic Japanese curry stick use this and not the recipe curry powder and turmeric. Add the chicken stock and stir on a medium heat. Dilute as necessary with water depending on how thick you want the sauce Cook and stir on low heat for further 5 minutes keeping consistency as you want with added water . Job done! Observations I would use authentic curry stick like S&B to make katsu but the above is a reasonable substitute if it is not available. This recipe is for chip shop or Chinese style curry and not for mixing into your favourite real curry! The chicken stick should be a solid jelly when cold . I used the chicken fat that had coated the stock in the fridge as it was available. If that doesn’t appeal then any oil or ghee or even butter if you wish.

Rightly or wrongly this was one of tastiest and most colourful pad thais that I have made in recent times. Technically it is not a pad thai, it is more like a warm salad but I don't actually care about that. I couldn't get beansprouts separately so had to buy a pepper and peashoot salad pack from M & S. The original recipe source some iterations back is from Rick Stein's Far Eastern Odyssey. The origins of the dish are not very ancient, arising as it did in the 1940s driven by government and nationalism -not to mention a shortage of rice (hence noodles). Ingredients 1 Pack Flat rice noodles 1 tbsp oil (see method) large piece of fresh ginger peeled and sliced 3 cloves garlic sliced 3 spring onions chopped into rounds good hand full of cashew nuts chopped small 1 red chilli pepper de-seeded and sliced 2 large duck breasts skin on 1 pack pea shoot and pepper salad (M&S) 2 tbsp tamarind sauce 2 tbps fish sauce (nam Pla) 2 tsps kecap manis Method Prepare the noodles Bring a pot of water to the boil and add 3 of the noodle sticks to cook for about 5 minutes or until soft. Remove from the heat and drain. Then rinse with cold water to prevent them cooking further. Drain and set aside. Prepare the aromatics If not already done, peel and slice the garlic and the ginger and de-seed and slice the red chilli. Trim and slice the spring onions. Chop the nuts. Set all aside. Prepare the sauce Mix the nam pla, tamarind sauce and kecap manis together in a small bowl and set aside. Pan fry the duck breasts Heat a large pan without oil and then place both duck breasts skin side down. Sear for about 5 minutes before flipping over and repeating. The time allocated is dependent upon how well cooked you want the meat and how thick the breasts are. We prefer the centre to be pink and so we keep the cooking time short. When cooked remove from the pan and set aside to rest for 5 minutes. Assemble and final cook Either remove the duck fat from the pan and use 1 tbsp sunflower oil or, better, keep the duck fat and use that to fry. Add the garlic, ginger and chilli and fry for a couple of minutes on a high heat stirring to prevent burning. Turn down the heat a little and add the sauce and stir well before adding the drained noodles ( which at this stage should be cool / cold). Heat and stir for awhile and then add the pea shoot and pepper salad and mix in quickly, allowing to heat for no more than a couple of minutes. Add the chopped nuts and give a final mix. Slice the duck breasts thinly. Serve the pad thai on warmed plates and top with the sliced duck breast. Observations Peanuts are more traditional than cashew nuts. Beansprouts instead of mixed stir fry vegetables. Duck breast is a lovely meat to have with this dish but alternatives are steak, chicken, prawn or tofu. A squeeze of lime juice would have aded a little extra flavour. Don't have too much sauce, it detracts from the overall flavour of the ingredients.

We recently bought some chilli seedlings locally and brought them home to put under our grow lights. All was good for a few days until we spotted tiny black flies hovering around them. After some research it seemed apparent that we had brought home fungus gnats and so, fearful of the impact of our biosecurity measures in the apartment, we set about researching suitable pest control methods. It seems that these little blighters spend their larval stage in the pot compost around the surface and then hatch into these flies to repeat ad infinitum. It also appeared that a good means of controlling them was to water from below and thus keep the top of the compost dry and to apply a neem oil solution to the adults. Neem oil was duly acquired and a mixture was made of for spraying. We also potted on the seedlings a little prematurely but we hoped that might have an effect as well. It's a week later and we appear to have, at least for the time being, removed the infestation. What is even more pleasing is that we dont appear to have spread to other plants , including our lemon tree which is in close proximity. We sprayed it with neem oil as well - just to make sure. As a part of this process, we had ordered the neem oil from our local florist, Otok in Foss Street Dartmouth and when we went to collect it, there was a good sized Strelitzia nicolai there just waiting to be liberated. It really fitted the bill for our next acquisition. We wanted something tree like but tropical and we wanted, if possible that it would flower despite the north facing aspect of our apartment. I personally think that the plant is unlikely to flower but it would be good if it did. However, the leaves are just magnificent and remind me of banana plants, to which it is related. I suspect the aspect and also our potting strategy will help us prevent the growth habit to the 6 to 8 foot height and 3 to 5 foot spread, although our ceilings would just about accommodate it. On the positive side, if it took up a square metre of the apartment we would still have seventy-six left. At the moment it looks a bit forlorn in its location by the bath ( for maximum humidity) accompanied only by a rather sad looking specimen of Calathea lancifolia which is currently recovering from being divided as it was pot bound. I don't think we'll see its rather insignificant flowers this year somehow. However it sits opposite a larger collection of varying flowers as shown in the images and this will help to set off the room whilst it comes into its own. Indeed, we have had a couple of success stories so far. The two Christmas cactus's that we originally bought from M & S about eight months ago flowered a little feebly and then went into a sort of leaf growing phase. We potted them on and one decided to grow a load of leaves and the other as you can see, set out with a mass of blooms. The hope and expectation is that the leafy grower will now develop some flowers over the next few months whilst the current star will get stuck into vegetative growth for a while. This way they might flower alternately through the year. We'll see. Similarly we have had mixed success with the cyclamen, also from M & S. Both were bought flowering and then after a couple of weeks went into decline. It most likely had something to do with the watering regime but we couldn't seem to get it right. Generally we tended towards dry rather than wet but I suspect that the size of the corm was such that any water was taken up quickly but still left the plant dry. However we increased the watering as the weather warmed up and now we have one prolific flowerer in burgundy and one sparse flowerer in frilly pink. We'll feed back on the relative successes of these at a later stage once we have. a little history and data to base any assumptions on.

It's been a while since we had shakshuka for breakfast but the sight of a jar claiming to be a shakshuka in a local shop set us wondering how it had dropped off our breakfast radar. My basis for the recipe is Ottolenghi's Jerusalem as we used to do that on the Aga when we lived in Frome. Ingredients 1 tbsp olive oil 1 tbsp harissa paste ( I used Belazu) 1 tbsp tomato puree 1 large red pepper cut into small/medium dice 1 small green chilli deseeded and sliced 3 cloves garlic crushed with salt 1 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground coriander 6 cloves crushed without the stalks 4 very ripe tomatoes diced ( mine weren't so ripe) 2 free range eggs salt to taste Greek yoghurt to serve Method Heat the olive oil and harissa paste in a large pan and when hot add the diced peppers and chilli and cook for about 8 minutes until soft. Add the crushed garlic, cumin, coriander and cloves ( just the heads, not the stalks) and the tomato puree. Stir well to mix and cook for a couple of minutes. Add the chopped tomatoes and stir whilst they cook . Maybe 10 minutes or so until a thick sauce has developed. Make two wells in the sauce and crack each egg into the well, string the white a little into the sauce mix without damaging the yolk. Cook until the white is just about done and the yolks are still runny. It might help to cover the lid the pot. Arrange in a bowl and serve with a spoonful of greek yoghurt

Finished Demi-baguettes I needed some bread for lunch and hadn't got the time to go out and buy it between phone calls. I decided to make some small baguette style rolls although I didn't have the time to process them as I should have. I used instead a combination of normal kneading and stretch & fold techniques over a shorter period. The result was quite successful as I hope you can see from the finished product. (I'll refer to the variation between the rolls in the Observation section below!) I had done some reading on how to make a baguette-style bread and knew that the key variables were temperature; baking humidity; kneading style/time ; and, hydration of the dough. I used these in my impromptu attempt. Ingredients 700g of strong white bread flour. (It's all I had in the cupboard) 14g fast action yeast 1 tsp salt 520ml warm water. This is more water than a normal dough and do the dough will be stickier. Method In a bowl mix together the dry ingredients Add the warm water and mix well with a wooden spoon Flour a work surface and your hands as the dough is more sticky than normal. Knead for about 5 minutes then stretch the dough and fold over a few times. Go back to kneading normally for another 5 minutes and repeat the stretch and fold. Leave 5 minutes and stretch and fold again. Check that the gluten is in good shape using the thumb press test. If the thumb print doesn't rise out, rework a round again. Return the dough to the bowl, cover with cling film and leave to prove for about an hour or until doubled in size . (I put mine under a grow-lamp these days as there are several in the kitchen. It seems to do the trick as our flat isn't generally that warm unless the heating is on.) Near the end of the hour preheat an oven to 250C (fan) having previously placed a pan in the base with water in it. This will provide the steam to help crisp the crust. Keep the water topped up if it dries out. When the dough is ready, remove from pan and knock back. I used a marble work top but you might need to dust other surfaces lightly. Make the dough into a rough rectangle and cut it into 6 or 8 equal lengths. Roll out by hand into a demi-baguette shape and size. Place on greaseproof paper on a baking tray with space around for the dough to rise and thicken . Leave to rise for about 20 minutes. Check water level in the oven to keep humidity and then place the trays in the oven to bake for about 10 to 15 minutes or until risen , the crust is cracked and mid brown in colour. The rolls should look something like the demi-baguettes here. Observations I used two oven trays and the rolls on the lower tray produced a better crust and crispness than those on the top. The ones pictured are from the lower tray. I think I had too much water in the evaporation tray so that it took longer for the water to evaporate and create the humidity necessary. This I am sure is a part of the issue with the upper row of rolls. I was also a bit cavalier with my cutting and so did not get the same crease in all the rolls , some of them appearing more rounded and smooth. You can see this in one of the images where the right hand three rolls look smoother than the others. However, they all looked good and were approved of by those who ate them but some could have been better. They were still ok to eat the following day but benefitted from being heated in the oven for 5 minutes or so. Next time, I'll take more time to allow a more effective stretch and fold rather than hurrying things up with the standard kneading technique. I am sure that it would be more appealing as a demi-baguette if I did that. All in all however it was a good result although the calorie count was high at 350 Kcal for one of the 7 rolls I made.

We recently visited the Lake District for the first time ever and found that immensely entertaining. It rained pretty much every day but that is what waterproofs are for, isn't it? We drove there from Dartmouth and decided to stop off en route both on the way up and on the way back. The nearest halfway town , (sort of) was Ludlow and we booked there both ways at an old inn called The Feathers. The Feathers Inn Ludlow must have the biggest collection of 17th Century houses that I have ever seen; property prices that are disturbingly low; and, the noisiest Friday night crowd rampaging through the streets of the town that I have heard in a good while. Perhaps property prices in the town reflect an underlying social issue? However, it's not Ludlow or Windermere or even the Cats Bell (which we climbed in the pouring rain and strongish winds) that are marked for attention here. It is a desert that I had at The Swan Hotel and Spar. Apparently it was new on their menu and I have to say that I enjoyed it immensely. Derwent Water from Cat's Bell I had no idea what a Clafoutis was until I later looked it up online. It soon occurred to me that it could go into my bag of quick and easy deserts for home to be served single portion sized in ramekin dishes alongside apple crumble and bread and butter pudding. It's basically a rustic custard with tart fruits (traditionally cherries) and indeed what I had at the Swan was Cherry & Almond. I did a bit of research on returning home and found a number of recipes which I picked what I wanted from. The main source was Raymond Blanc but I don't think that he would have recognised the end product. Ingredients (Serves 4) 200g fresh blueberries 2 medium eggs 45g caster sugar 20g unsalted butter 20g plain flour 125ml double cream 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon butter for lining the ramekins (4) pinch of salt Method Preheat the oven to 180C In a small pan heat the butter to a beurre noisette and then set aside to cool. Whisk the eggs and sugar together until creamy then whisk in the flour and cinnamon. Leave for a few minutes and then stir in the double cream. Add the cooler beurre noisette and stir in with a pinch of salt. Line the ramekins with a little butter then divide the blueberries between the 4 ramekins. Top off with the batter, allowing space for the pudding to rise a little. Cook in the centre of the oven for 30 - 35 minutes or until cooked. (Clean knife test) Nutrition For the whole recipe ( 4 ramekins) Calories: ~870 kcal Protein: ~13 g Carbohydrates: ~68 g Sugars: ~59 g Fat: ~62 g Saturated fat: ~36 g Fiber: ~5 g That's roughly 220 kcal per ramekin Observations The pudding will rise in the oven and then collapse once it comes out. The fruit was added as is without macerating in sugar and liqueur as per many recipes. I didn't like the idea of ramekins with a caster sugar dusting either. Curious deer near the AirBnB Vanilla or almond essence might have added a little to the flavour but I didn't have either to hand. Can be heated up quite successfully in the microwave the following day. According to Chat Gpt, I can reduce the calorific value by swapping half the cream for milk to cut ~150–200 kcal and reduce the sugar to 30–35g of the total recipe. I'll try that next time. It is a little like the custard in a bread and butter pudding. Will definitely try again with different fruit and flavours.

I first published an article in June 2025 about our move into an apartment after many years with a substantial garden in Frome, Somerset. this is an update as we start to head out of our first winter here. Being both passionate gardeners, the whole loss of the outside space had the potential to leave a nasty wound on our mind set and so we embarked on a period of self-justification about what we would do and could do with the 77 square metres of indoor space that we now had to live in. The earlier blog provides a sense of that mindset and I have to say that we have not moved much away from that position at this time. We have made a few changes and we havent yet got a tree in place yet but that is just a matter of time and the right candidate. Medelina Flowering We have not lost any plants to date, although the cyclamen that we bought subsequent to the June article came close and both remain on a knife edge. As you may see from the images, the other plants have grown well and we have a couple of candidates that are now in need of division and repotting. We have had a few plants that have given us flowers and the Medelina was an absolute gem, flowering for three months or so over the summer and autumn and now rewarding us with new growth that is promising two new leaves and a flowering spike. We have. gone for a few more flowering plants. Mostly bulbs - the reticulated irises were too short lived under the Auk grow lamps. However, the hyacinths in our (unheated) bedroom are doing great. Our biggest change since June last year has been the purchase of some grow-bulbs which we have placed in the lamps in one of our shower rooms. Here we rotate the plants so that they can alternate with a slightly brighter daylight than they would get in most of the other rooms and they really look well on it. It makes a difference to the amount of watering needed over winter months as in deed, these lucky things are not actually experiencing the full force of an English winter. That being said, we had a problem with our heating in December so that for a few days we were running room temperatures in single figures for a while. One of the Medelina's new leaves suffered a bit but it has more or less recovered especially after we put a clear plastic bag around the sensitive new growth for a few days. New herbs at the back! We have taken a short rest in the herb production and have made use of the Auk lights to keep other plants happily in receipt of sunlight equivalent but we will start up the herbs again in spring. We found that we were producing more than we needed for our purposes , especially basil believe it or not. When we go back into production we may only use the one Auk and keep the other for flowering plants. In addition, some herbs don't seem to offer the fullest flavour until they have woody stems (in our opinion). Plants such as sage, rosemary, thyme and oregano. So we have been out and bought one of each as full grown plants!

This is a really simple and delciious meal that I adapted from a recipe I read for salmon. Personally I love scallops with a passion both for their texture and taste as well as their ease of cooking. All in all this recipe makes for a simple and tasty meal that is a joy to cook up. The ingredients are short and sweet and the method is pretty straight forward. I had to use frozen scallops in this recipe as it was done just after Christmas but always use fresh scallops if you can. Normally I would use hand dived fresh @ about £2.50 each from our local fish man. Served with samphire of course but I guess you could use any greens - kale, cavolo nero, sprouts - come to mind. And buttery mash potato of course. The cherry vine tomatoes were for colour and a little sweet and sour flavour. The. cardamom is there for taste but also it is traditionally used to support circulation and may help lower blood pressure (apparently). Ingredients (serves 2) 10 fresh scallops, preferably with coral 1 tbsp of ghee 1 small orange ( zest and juice of) 10 cardamon pods (Yes that's it - simples) Method NOTE: You want to have prepared and cooked your mashed potato and accompanying vegetables before you start to pan fry your scallops so that they are ready to plate. Remove scallops from shells if present and wash and pat dry with a paper towel. Zest the orange and then squeeze the juice and set both aside. Remove the seeds from the cardamom pods and temper in a hot frying pan being careful not to burn. When done , remove and grind in a mortar and pestle and set aside. In the same frying pan melt the ghee to a medium heat and add the scallops (cook in two batches if necessary). Cook 2-3 minutes on each side depending on size and when opaque, set aside.(See observations) Return the pan to the heat and add the orange zest and fry for a minute before adding the ground cardamon seeds, stir to mix and then add the orange juice. Stir well and then it's all over apart from the serving. Plate the vegetables and the mash and then arrange the scallops. Pour the sauce over the scallops. Nutrition whole recipe (individual) Calories: ~300–340 kcal (~150–170 kcal) Protein: ~30–34 g (~15–17 g) Fat: ~15–18 g (~7–9 g) Carbohydrates: ~6–9 g (~3–4 g) Fibre: ~1–2 g (~<1 –1 g) Observations Use fresh scallops rather than frozen if possible. This simple meal is about the scallops and it does make a difference. Don't use ground cardamom unless you cant get whole. The flavour is in the tempering and grinding. If you prefer your scallops with a crust then get the pan and oil hot before adding the scallops and only turn once, 2 to 3 minutes per side depending on size. Cooked when opaque and firm but don't overcook.

I fancied doing a chicken jalfrezi recipe in the style of an English Curry House as two of my sons were partial to it. I accept of course that an authentic Bengali recipe would not have the peppers anyway. Ingredients (serves 4) 2 large chicken breasts 2 tbsp ghee 1 large onion thickly sliced 1 red bell pepper (also thickly sliced) 1 green bell pepper (also thickly sliced) 1 yellow bell pepper (also thickly sliced) 2 to 3 green chilies, slit 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 tbsp fresh ginger, grated 200g passata 1 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp Kashmiri chilli powder 1 tsp chilli powder 1 tsp turmeric 1 tsp garam masal salt to taste Method Stir fry the chicken pieces in the ghee (or oil) until almost cooked then remove and set aside. In the same pan on a high heat add the onions and cook until softened but still retaining some crispness. Add the peppers and the green chilies and stir fry for a further 3 - 5 minutes. You want them to keep some crunch in them so don't overcook. Add the minced garlic and grated ginger and cook for about 30 seconds to a minute, stiring to prevent sticking then add the cumin, coriander, chilli and turmeric. fry briefly until fragrant. Stir in the tomato pasata and cook for a few minutes more until the sauce looks glossy. Return the chicken to the pan and stir to distribute and coat. Heat on high for 2 to 4 minutes then sprinkle in the garam masala. Heat a further 30 seconds and then you are done. Serve with plain boiled rice. Nutrition whole recipe (individual) Calories: ~1,250–1,350 kcal (~310–340 kcal) Protein: ~110–120 g (~27–30 g) Fat: ~65–75 g (~16–19 g) Carbohydrates: ~55–65 g (~14–17 g) Fibre: ~12–16 g (~3–4 g) Observations The sauce should be dry-ish but using pasata instead of chopped tomatoes (fresh or tinned) then the sauce was a little more liquid (which we preferred). The onions, peppers and chilies should retain a light crunch to them and not be too soft. You need to use high heat for most of the cooking so watch out for sticking and burning. Half a tin of chopped tomatoes or two large fresh tomatoes lightly chopped could replace the pasata. You could use paprika if you can't get Kashmiri chilli powder. Vary the chilli powder and number of green chilies to suit your own heat preference. The garam masala goes in a the end ( and it would be better more flavourful to make your own).

To celebrate the release of the latest and final version of the novel, Seagrum the Dwarf, I am including in this blog a bit of background about the origins of the tale and the main characters. There is also a link to the text of Chapter Three - An interview with a Vampire together with a spoken version of that chapter produced using an AI version of my voice through Resemble AI. The graphics are produced by Chat Gtp but all the text (warts and all) are proudly produced by human. This human. The idea of the story comes from the financial crisis of 2009 and obviously the 'death pledges' referrered to in the novel are 'mortgages'. The Vampire's are the bankers; the Hue and Cry is the Financial Regulator. The werewolves are based on our own dog, Gandalf, who being part border collie and part husky, looks a bit like a wolf. His eternal optimism regarding food often goes unrewarded but occasionally has its successes. The concept of a dwarfish main character probably arose out of a melange of ideas around the anticipated release of the Peter Jackson Hobbit Trilogy. The dwarfs in the LOTR film and also in the Tolkein book seemed so virtuous, despite their love of gold, that I wanted to experiment with a character that was a little darker and, arguably, a little deeper. Someone in possession of some more human characteristics. The setting of the novel, Florencetown, a mythical location in a world that I have reprised in other novels is a sort of medieval / semi classical world depending upon the geographic location. The Northern Lands described in my Collector of Tales are brutally medieval or technically more early modern whereas the lands of the Xandrian Quarters are more reminiscent of classical Bzyantium. The world, I refer to as Se Molde, sounding like "same old" and from the Old English for earth or soil. Editorial Appraisal by Chat Gpt Title: Seagrum the Dwarf Author: David Payne Genre: Dark fantasy / sardonic noir / speculative satire Tone: Gritty, sardonic, darkly comic, richly descriptive Overview Seagrum the Dwarf is a vivid, unflinching plunge into a decadent world of taverns, bounty hunters, witches, vampires, and bureaucratic corruption. At its heart stands Seagrum — a coarse, cunning dwarf whose vices, wit, and grim practicality make him both the story’s hero and its moral caution. The narrative unfolds in a richly described, grimly humorous world that blends noir sensibilities with high-fantasy grotesquery. The writing is confident, immersive, and distinctive: lushly descriptive yet laced with dry, often caustic humor. The result is a world that feels lived-in, corrupt, and oddly believable despite its monsters and magic. The voice — half-omniscient, half-seedy raconteur — channels the sardonic bite of Mervyn Peake, the grime of The Witcher, and the wry fatalism of Glen Cook’s Black Company. Strengths Atmosphere & world-building: The setting of Florencetown feels layered, filthy, and authentic, full of sensory grit and moral ambiguity. It breathes corruption and life. Characterisation: Seagrum is a magnificent anti-hero — vulgar, brutal, and yet somehow philosophical. Supporting characters, from the witch Persephone to the eerie vampire “Thank You,” are drawn with similar flair. Voice & prose: The prose is rich and deliberate, balancing dense description with cutting humor. The world’s absurdities are handled with irony, not indulgence. Thematic depth: Beneath the bawdy violence lies a sharp commentary on power, lust, bureaucracy, and self-delusion. Areas for refinement Pacing: The novel occasionally dwells too long in exposition (especially world background or philosophical digressions). Tightening these would help narrative flow. Consistency of tone: The blend of grim realism and comic grotesque sometimes risks overwhelming key emotional beats — a touch more restraint in places could heighten their impact. Accessibility: The elaborate diction and extended sentences will thrill readers who enjoy ornate fantasy but may challenge those expecting fast-paced adventure. Market potential Seagrum the Dwarf sits comfortably within the darker, literary end of fantasy fiction — ideal for readers of Joe Abercrombie, Terry Pratchett’s later Discworld novels (Night Watch, Snuff), or China Miéville. Its world of cynical wit, dirt, and demi-magic could easily form part of a larger mythos or series — the world is strong enough to support it.