We managed to pick up a decent bag of cooking apples from the Dartmouth Community Orchard in October and froze most of them after processing. Processing in this case meant peeling, coring and cutting into decent sized pieces. We also had the view that butter would prevent the apples going brown and so we melted butter and mixed it with the apples. We have since learned that this was actually pointless for this purpose. However it gave a nice base to a cooking mix. Anyway, we thought. Why not make a bread and butter pudding with some of these apples as a base? This was good quality comfort food fit for any menu entry (except perhaps in this tavern) . Ingredients: 4 or 5 large slices of stale white bread. 50g softened butter( for spreading) 200 - 250g peeled, cored and cut apples (see method) 2 tbps sugar 500ml milk (full fat preferably) 4 standard or 3 large eggs 1/2 tsp powdered cinnamon Method: Allow the apples to thaw. Ours had a coating of butter and so this version is a little rich in calories and fats but you don't have to eat all of it in one go! Butter one side of the bread and cut into triangles ( see image). In a bowl make the custard by mixing the eggs, milk, cinnamon and sugar together, whisking thoroughly ( by hand is good enough). Butter a medium sized oven dish ( about 1 litre) Place the thawed apple mix in the base of the dish and then layer up the bread butter side up. Pour over the custard mix and leave to soak for about 30 minutes. You want the bread to absorb the liquid and softened but it doesn't have to be evenly textured. A little crunch will add texture. Bake in the centre of an oven at 170C (fan) for about 35 - 40 minutes until it has puffed up and turned golden. It should be set in the middle. Ready to serve... Observations: You could add vanilla or vanilla essence to the custard - we didn't have any. You could grate nutmeg on the top before baking - again we didn't have any. Another option might be to caramelise the apples before adding to the pudding. You could sprinkle brown sugar over the top before baking but we kept to a failry low sugar content for taste.

In Florencetown, even the roses have teeth. This is my latest novel in the process of completing. The Head Gardener, second in the series of tales about Seagrum the Dwarf. On the surface, it's a murder mystery set in a dark fantasy context. I'm offering here a copy of the story warts and all and I asked a friendly AI to provide a brief review. If you are interested in reading it just click on the link below to download an EPUB (ebook) version. If you have feedback please add it to the comments. (It is a risk, I know, but I'm not precious.) CHAT GPT's Overall Impression The Head Gardener is a darkly whimsical, sardonic fantasy novel set in Florencetown , a vividly imagined city of humans, dwarves, ogres, werewolves, witches, and other beings. It blends satire, grotesque humor, and gritty worldbuilding with a strong sense of the absurd. At its heart are two unlikely figures: Capability, the enigmatic Head Gardener , obsessed with roses, and Seagrum, a rough-hewn, sharp-witted dwarf entangled in intrigue, sex, and violence. CHAT GPT's Positive assessments Rich Worldbuilding: Florencetown is described with an almost painterly density—roses, taverns, guilds, mayors, ogres on the gate, and werewolves at night. The guilds, contracts, and odd social customs give it a strong sense of lived-in history and bureaucracy. Tone & Style: Wry, sardonic, often blackly comic. The narrator has a conspiratorial voice, breaking into commentary (“God’s teeth! What is it with men and liquids...”), which adds texture and humor. Dialogue is earthy and sharp, especially Seagrum’s lines. Characters: Capability : aloof, enigmatic, obsessed with roses, almost monk-like, but with mystery. Seagrum : immediately vivid—rough, bawdy, violent, but oddly philosophical at times. He’s a strong anchor for the story. Persephone : a witch written with irreverence and sharp wit; her dynamic with Seagrum is lively and memorablej. Thematic Depth: Beneath the grotesque humour is a commentary on power, bureaucracy, class, and human (and non-human) folly . The satire on guilds, political committees, and the Mayor’s pomposity hits well. Negative assessments I'm still working on these . It's not a finished novel yet! CHAT GPT's Comparison Titles Terry Pratchett’s Night Watch / Guards Guards! (urban satire, guilds, bureaucracy). Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast (dense description, gothic absurdity). Joe Abercrombie’s The First Law (gritty, sardonic characters, especially Seagrum). CHAT GPTs Verdict The Head Gardener is ambitious, sardonic fantasy with rich world building and unforgettable characters. Its greatest strength lies in its voice and grotesque humour, while its biggest risk is pacing and density that may daunt some readers. With some tightening—particularly in the first third—it could strongly appeal to readers who enjoy dark, baroque fantasy satire with a touch of the absurd.

This is a short piece of writing taken from The Collector of Tales. Although the images are provided by Chat Gpt and the spoken voice by ResembleAI, the story itself is entirely my own work. I hope you like. If you'd like to listen rather than read then download here. The Swift’s Tale My pursuer had backed off and so I waited for him. Briefly he reappeared but soon faded back into the crowd as I continued on towards the square.  Although I  stopped to look  back, I didn’t see him again. In the small square Above Town, the stocks were occupied.  Ignoring  the tenant and the two duty soldiers sitting on the steps of the library, I went up trying not to look discomfited. At the top I  knocked on the door and waited. In the corner of my eye I could see my dark follower enter the square. The door was answered by a young woman with a pretty but tired face who I took to be librarian’s daughter. She smiled and invited me in. I followed her into the reading room where, with a vague gesture, she left me alone. I checked the window. Across the square my shadow was standing against a tree. Too much was running through my mind to focus properly. My follower; the missing books; the tired  woman; the librarian - yes where was the librarian? I went to the window again. There were two dark figures talking to each other.  One was my shadow. Now I had two followers. It crossed my mind to confront them but what was the point?  Instead I went in search of books in the upstairs room. To get a better view of my followers, I climbed the steep spiral stairs. At the top a room was crammed with books. Piles of them everywhere; in places slumped over in an untidy mess on the dirty floor. The room was dusty and smelled rank. There was a dead bird lying in a corner. I knew from my travels that these long distance migratory birds rarely made landings other than when nesting. Not this one. Dead in the cold north and looking strangely desiccated. Not a feather out of place and only the sunken eyes to indicate that it was dead and not asleep. Through the window I could  see four followers. Now there was a conventicle of them. The presence of soldiers with halberds did nothing to reduce my anxiety. Back in the reading room, I gave up trying to read, dropping  the book onto the table, I slipped four coins into the honesty box and gathered my day sack. It seemed ill mannered to leave without being obvious, even in this ill-mannered world, and so I wandered down a corridor into the house. Turning sharply to the left, I passed a couple of empty rooms and in a third saw two children playing some kind of war or battle game. Next was a kitchen. Dark and quiet. A small window high up, gave light to a dusty table where a book lay open. Sitting before it was the young woman, hands clasped on her lap and her eyes red from crying. The man in me said that it was time to leave but the boy part of me said to look a bit further. I took the boy’s advice (as I often did). Coming out of the kitchen I was brought to an abrupt halt by the iron face of the old librarian. She had been waiting there in the dark.  She had been waiting for me. Her flaccid skin seemed to give off its own light. Her eyes were dark and bright and angry. She stood there for a moment without speaking or breathing. A pulse beat in my neck and a bead of sweat ran down my jaw. “Seen the bird?” she asked. I nodded. “Swift.” she said. “Probably.” I replied waiting for an assault that must surely come. She lifted her arm (did she know) and pointed towards the kitchen door. “Seen our shame?” she said. I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant. “And our joy...” she continued. I heard the boys playing. She took two steps forward, pressing me back. “Don’t come back.” After a moment’s hesitation, as my pulse thumped, I turned sharply about. The guards looked up as I exited the library. At the same time four coins were thrown out into the slush. A window closed like a prison. “’Appen there’s a storm a commin,” said a soldier,  looking up at the sky. “Aye,” I replied, watching with dismay, the six people now across the square. I  was reluctant to leave the strangely comforting proximity of the soldiers and so I cast about for something to say. I pointed to my six followers and asked , “Who?” “No idea.” “It’s all ok?”  I asked “Guess so.” This wasn’t  going well. At a point, fear cuts out and you step over into the next zone. The man’s voice in my head tells me it’s stupidity. The boy in me thinks that’s great because you get a rush of adrenalin and he really loves that. I am fifty-two, on the other hand, and my knees suggest older. Sometimes the absence of options is an advantage. I  walked towards the alley. Passing my followers, speaking together in animated tones, I was ignored. Storm clouds blowing from the East chased away the clear sky, bringing the promise of snow. The felon in the stocks lay limp. In the upper room of the library, the desiccated, swift lay on the floor, its sunken eyes hiding the story of its last moments of life. The two boys continued their game. In the kitchen the woman, their mother perhaps, sat now with her hands on her lap, palms up and cupped into which the tears of her sadness occasionally dripped. The wax skin around the face of the old librarian catching the thin window light stood out in relief against the darkness of the corridor whilst her breath came and went slowly and with measured pace, seeming to draw in, with each one, the world in which she stood. (C) Copyright David Payne 2025

Some meals are simply perfect. Of course it is all a matter of preference but last night's offering to the gods of cooking has to be listed as being on a par with the best that I have experienced. It's not arrogance. After all I merely cooked it, ate it and tasted it and it was indeed for my own pleasure. It's reportage. So I am not up there in the presentation of the food but to me that's not what I'm all about. Ingredients: 2 x 250g pieces of hake loin. 4 slices from a lemon 4 thin slices from a block of unsalted butter freshly ground pepper 150g fresh samphire (rinsed) 150g fresh cherry tomatoes 50g capers Oil for frying the tomatoes Balsamic vinegar Method: Set the oven at 180C and bring up to temperature . Place each hake loin onto its own piece of baking parchment, skin side down. Place the two slices of lemon on the fish and top each piece with a thin slice of butter. Season with freshly ground pepper. Form the papillote pouches and place them on a baking tray. I used two enamel dishes that I was going to serve the fish on. Place in the oven and cook for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile halve the cherry tomatoes and season with pepper and set aside. (The capers will provide the salt) Bring a pan of water to the boil and blanch the samphire. Drain and set aside. In a frying pan add a few drops of olive oil and heat. Add the cherry tomatoes and trin them cut side down. fry for a while and then flip over and add the capers. Stir together and continue to fry for a couple of minutes. Add a little liquid ( water of white wine) and continue to heat for a while, if the pan is a little dry. Turn off the heat and set aside. Bring out the fish and remove it from the pouch before placing it back in the centre of the cooking pan. Dress with a little balsamic vinegar Add the samphire and the tomato mix and serve immediately . Observations: You can of course use any fish. Cod and haddock would be good substitutes but they all have different texture. I refrained from using garlic much as I love it because I didn't want to overpower the fish.

It's the weekend of 25th October and the 2025 Dartmouth Food Festival is in full swing. The wind and the rainy weather has given over to crisp cool sunshine with occasional light showers that you can usually see coming down the river valley. The Pelican of London, a splendid, three mast vessel moored up on the town quay, normally in pride of place as a focus of attention, is having to take second place to a whole swathe of marquees that are set up along the South Embankment. Currently there are hordes of people queing patiently to get into the first of the marquees adjacent to the passenger ferry gang way. Its a one-way pedestrian system and so it can be a little frustrating at times. However, it would be chaos if people were free to roam in any direction. The place is a little different to a scene from the day before of an empty marquee and a view of the estuary beyond its rear walls. Every inch of space is now filled with the awnings themselves butting up against the edge of the quay and tied securely to the bollards. On the other side, there are various dead weight devices to help anchor down the awnings if the wind picks up. There isn't even space to sit in the riverside of the covered seating on the embankment. There was a kind of trial run on the Friday and we ventured out after a frustrating morning's work. I think I took my own personal cloud with me because I couldn't get into the spirit of it. I nearly fell out with one vendor who tried to get me to smell his black pepper. "I don't need to smell it, I kown what it smells like!" Churlish and unfriendly I know but at least it stopped him moving in to get me to part with £27 for a small bag of the long Kampot pepper corns that were the same price as a hunk of venison on a stall further on. (I bought the venison on Saturday though!) My mood didn't improve as I went to look around the street food stalls in Royal Avenue Gardens and reached a nadir after I had bought a lamb and harissa wrap for the princely sum of £15. Really, £30 for teo fancy sandwiches at lunch time. Without wanting to go on - the price of a piece of venison! Strangely, my ill humour seemed to dissipate as I sat in the gardens and ate my lunch. Perhaps I was just hungry! Saturday started a whole lot better. For a start, the sun really was out despite occasional showers and we had decided on fish for dinner today and so I had an excuse to head for the stall in the market. Here, one of my favourite places to shop for provisions, I acquired a kilo of hake loin, some samphire and a few slices of smoked salmon. The hake here cost more than the venison ( which seems to be my benchmark for this occasion) but it offered four indulgent portions and the salmon was an excellent lunch for the two of us when served on cranberry and squash sourdough from the only artisan bread baker at the festival. The crowds were beginning to swell by the time that we sallied forth in the afternoon. In fact it was manic. I soon decided that any thought of getting some pictures of the place was a bad idea. Fortunately we were only really looking for the venison and perhaps some interesting teas. The latter search was a failure as there was no such offering amongst all the coffees. However the venison was acquired for £17.00 as it was a slow cook joint rather than a straight roasting cut. After a brief exchange with my better half about who was going to pay ( and I lost naturally enough), we headed out of the crowds. It was a little better further along the South Embankment and that gave me a moment for reflection on the origins of the foods. After all I had no idea where the venison came from nor who had actually sold it to me. Indeed, a twisted corner of my mind suggested that I had no idea what meat I had just bought. It could be an opportunistic way to dispose of a mother-in -law after all. I think I have probably delved a little too far into my psyche here and perhaps I should leave such meanderings to the contents of my novels. The Head Gardener for example. A macabre little tale if there ever was one but ,as one might say, "A cracking good read!" Still for the avoidance of doubt, I am pretty sure that it is venison and, whilst she lived, I was quite fond of my mother-in-law ... Whilst I feel that the festival was a little short on primary provisions such as herbs and spices, teas , pulses, interesting vegetables - that sort of thing - I did manage to find the stall for the Isle of Wight garlic farm ( or some such name). Here I bought three smoked garlic cloves and three others of a name I cannot remember. They all smelled good and the smoked was going to be. paired with the venison when it came to cooking it. The image of the partially plundered bulb does not do justice to the smell of the thing (naturally). Getting into the swing of spending at l;ast we also managed to finish off the day with the purchase of two terracotta glazed bowls which we needed for hte micro-wave. To the question, "Are they microwaveable ?" we received an enigmatic answer that involved terracotta naturally absorbing water (and not to let that happen) but I think it all wrapped up to a "Yes" . Only time will tell. That was Saturday pretty much wrapped up. All I needed was a few images at night of the festival in rest which , as you can see below, were picked up when I took our dog, Gandalf, for his late evening walk before bed. Sunday was a quiet start, probably something to do with the clocks changing. Pity no one told Gandalf. He had me up at 04.50 new time for his morning walk. Still not too bad really, I could hear a large dog barking in one of the buildings on the Quay, possibly the Royal Castle. At a more manageable time, we ventured forth into the crowds again. The purpose was to see if we had missed anything ( we hadn’t) and to buy some more breach from Vickys Bread and to find out where they deliver to in Dartmouth. (Sadly they don’t , the nearest is probably Kingsbridge.) We nearly bought some pies - they looked really good but to be honest I am on a dietary purge at the moment - so that was a bust. Slipping down Nelson Street for the first time for a few days, I found that Joe’s Bar was setting up an alfresco dining area complete with paintings on the walls and full service on the long table. Really like the paintings but was too embarrassed to take pictures there and then. Got three of them later and they are set out below. Not food as such but certainly food for thought. Online it seems that they were painted by the late Bas Kennedy of Dartmouth but I can’t find anything else about him ( or her ). So what was the take on the weekend? Well for a start the street food was pretty pricey by local standards. Were there any intersteing ideas or suggestions to be gathered? Perhaps there might have. been in hte tents where the demonstartions were held but I had neither the time nor the patience for those. The place was heaving with visitors and it seems that for every human family there was at least 1.3 dogs. Poor old Gandalf really struggled with the crowds and we had to keep to the back streets like lepers to avoid all the cockerpoos and other look alike dogs. It was with a kind of relief that Gandalf and I walked the Quay on Monday morning. The whole scene with no cars in sight reminderd me of the city scenes in I am Legend ( or for those of an older persuasion - The Omega Man). So all I needed now was the zombie apocalypse!

Trilobites became extinct on our planet about 250 million years ago at the time of the Permian mass extinction. This was the greatest mass extinction recorded with something like 90% of all species being wiped out. It made the Dinosaur (KT) extinction look tame. These were marine creatures and so it is unlikely that on our planet they would have ever scuttled about around the feet of humans. But I guess it could have been! In any case, I chose to bring these marvellous creatures back from extinction in The Collector of Tales. It is after all a different world and Se Molde, the world of my stories, is not quite the Same Old same old that is our much abused planet Earth. Tiny pygidium from trilobite at Wren's Nest , Dudley For my own part I have sought out fossils of these beasts in Haverfordwest unsuccessfully, Wrens Nest in Dudley with variable success and along the banks of streams along the borders on Wenlock Edge with a certain amount of dampness. But for my arthropod fix I have had to resort to spiders and by spiders in this case I mean tarantulas. Pygidium from trilobite at Wenlock Edge You can see why they didn’t appear in The Collector of Tales. After all, spiders get a very bad press. Tolkien places them in the darkest foulest places of his Middle Earth to name but one. Yet they don’t deserve this treatment. Yes tarantulas have ‘hairs’ and eight legs , they are large and they scuttle around occasionally. Of course they’re venomous but for the most part true tarantulas are not lethal unless you have an llergic reaction to their bite. Admittedly you don’t want to get bitten by them because they can hurt and make your tissues swell up. In fact from my experience they seem pretty tolerant creatures all in all if left alone and not handled excessively (or even at all) Actually I don’t think the issue is tolerance. I suspect it is economy. Looking at it from a tarantulas point of view all the energy required to deliver a bite has to come from somewhere and then has to be replaced. Replacement is only in the form of food and that requires more energy to acquire. Then of course if venom is delivered all those proteins have to be re synthesised . More energy still and how is that going to square with the massive energy fest that is its moult. It can’t afford to screw that up because that is kind of fatal if that goes wrong. No I suspect that tarantulas don’t normally bite people because they can’t afford the energy loss. Unlike flicking their hairs on the other hand. If you want to check how skittish a spider is just have a look at the hairs on its abdomen. If there’s a bald patch then it’s probably a skittish one. If there’s a lot of hair then its probably more laid back (or it’s just gone through a moult). And you have to be careful of the hairs because they are tiny and barbed , travel a long way and can get in your eyes. Really they are the main risk because if the fire them off when your up close they are going to cause you some irritation. Then, generally, there is no need to get too close to the creatures. I had one, a large Chilean Rose that I would handle occasionally. Those occasions usually when I had had a glass or two of wine in my bloodstream. On the other hand I had a South African tarantula that after installing it in the vivarium, I caught sight of it about every six months when I assume it sallied forth from a deep burrow to find a supply of food (crickets). All tarantula images from my own collection around 2016.

Our sortie to the fish stall in the marketplace on Saturday produced a couple of large mackerel amongst other things. The fish as always looked really good and when I asked for two mackerel, I received the obligatory response "Two - each". He looked at the fish for a moment and said "I've got more out in the van," before heading off and then returning with a large box of the beauties. Look at those he offered - this man loves his fish. He picked a couple of them out and put them on the scales. He gutted them and then wrapped them up before coming back with, "what else?" Sardines and anchovies were the others today: an oily fish overkill probably. The mackerel were to be simply baked en papillote to eaten flaked on some bruschetta with horseradish and freshly roasted beetroot. The only problem was the beetroot. On this feted Saturday, Dartmouth could only offer pickled beets and so it was a trip to Kingsbridge on the bus on Sunday to see if the town could offer some. We had already booked a meal at the Crab Shell for Sunday Lunch and there is a good bus service from Dartmouth even on a Sunday. We had an hour to spare when we arrived and almost immediately, opposite the little bus station, we spotted an organic grocers. Yes, they had some beetroot and they also had horseradish root as a bonus. Not to mention the fresh turmeric root which we picked up for another day. Back to the mackerel meal, this was intended to be a light supper after feasting at lunch time. The beetroot was simply roasted in the oven at 180C for about 40 minutes to an hour then peeled ( when cool enough) and set aside. I chopped up 4 tomatoes into a small dice and added olive oil , 3 minced garlic cloves, some dried thyme and a splash of balsamic vinegar. These were mixed will and left to stand for when needed on the bruschetta. The fish had already been gutted so the cavity was loaded with butter and fresh dill and then placed in greaseproof paper and folded over for the oven. I made a fatal mistake in that I used the weight of the fish to keep the packet together by turning the fish over onto the paper seam. Obviously this allowed the butter to escape into the pan and the result was a buttery mess in the bottom of the oven. However, the fish went into the oven also at 180C for about 30 to 40 minutes. For the beasts that we had it took a full 40 minutes. It wasn't technically bruschetta but rather thin slices of sour dough with grains which was lightly toasted first during the latter stages of the fish cooking. Then the tomato mix was spread liberally on top and then returned to the oven for a further while. The fish cooked to a treat and was flakey and well mackerelly. It went beautifully with the beetroot (which I had cut into batons) and was complimented by some horseradish. I confess that this came from a jar and was not made up to order from the fresh root that we purchased in Kingsbridge. The tomato covered bruschetta added a little substance and an acidic hint to offset the fish. As mackerel are seasonal visitors to our seas I will have to start making plans to freeze a few for the winter.

A cassoulet is a melange of rich meats, white beans, fat and aromatics, cooked slowly over many hours. The recipe here, although claiming the name, has really no more right to it than many pizza. However, it is warming and it is hearty and it is a favourite go to on a cold day. Reading recipes for cassoulet, the fat content looks a bit to heavy for my liking and so whilst I am using the name, I am never likely to have a go at a real cassoulet. Indeed, even reading Escoffier's take on this dish, it reads a bit like something from the Collector of Tales . This recipe really is a version of Alubias Estofadas (i.e. stewed beans) but I'll never get around to remembering that. So let's get stuck into the recipe straightaway and the sooner cooked the sooner enjoyed! Ingredients 3 tins of beans drained ( I used cannellini, borlotti and fava) two carrots 1 large onion 1 stick celery 4 cloves garlic 1 tbsp mustard 2 tbsp tomato puree 500 ml chicken stock 500g meaty sausages 150g chorizo 1 red chilli pepper 1 tbsp smoked paprika Olive oil for frying salt and pepper to taste Method Dice the onion, slice the carrots the chilli and the celery. Then roughly chop the garlic. Cook the sausages whole either in the oven or on the hob and set aside when cooked. Add some oil to a heavy based pan and then fry off the onions, celery, carrot and chilli for about 5 minutes before adding the garlic. Fry for a further few minutes keeping an eye so that the garlic doesn't burn. Add the paprika, mustard, puree and chicken stock to the vegetables and stir occasionally to prevent sticking. Drain the beans and add them to the pot and incorporate, turning down the heat to ensure a gentle simmer. Once the sausages have stood for a while, slice thickly along with the chorizo and add to the pot. Top up with a little water or extra stock if the mix is too thick. Keep over a low heat fopr about 20 minutes to allow the flavours to infuse. Serve with crusty bread. Observations This meal doesn't have to have meat in it. You can replace the chicken stock with vegetable and add a tin more of beans instead of the sausages and chorizo for a vegetarian alternative. The image at the top only shows beans and vegetables (but rest assured , the meat is below the surface). To make it more meaty, you could add some pork bell slices cut into large cubes. they just need to be fried off after the soffrito much like the sausages below. Make sure you ensure the meat is cooked before serving. The sausages can be cooked in the pot rather than separately. Slice them thickly and add to the pan once the soffrito has fried up a little so that they brown off a little. The same for the chorizo. Again, for the sausages and if using 'raw' chorizo , make sure that the meat is cooked before serving. Depending upon how spicy you make it (maybe add a little cayenne or pimenton picante) it could benefit by the addition of cream or sour cream to serve.

Well, we have lived at The Quay now for just over six months and last night I got my first close up of a grey seal whilst walking Gandalf, our dog. It was sleeping on a pontoon just off the jetty near the Yatch Club in full view of anyone who happened to be walking that path just after 21.00. It was kind of unfortunate for me that a very vocal American came up as I was taking photos and trying to get the dog in the shot as well. (I failed) I was then subjected to about 15 minutes of monologue from the new worlder about seals ( it was a female apparantly) and dolphins. We then gravitated towards the ills of the world via global warming, the Israeli conflict, ISIS, Russia and all that stuff until at the end we reached Donald Trump and his advisors. We headed there via what sounded like racism, anti-semitism, the gun laws (and how could you people walk around unarmed over here?). Please be assured that I support none of these things! Frankly it all went on too long and if I had not been cradling a sufficiency of wine in my system, I would have brought the thing to a close a lot sooner. Even Gandalf let me down by failing to undertake his habitual barking whenever his walk is interrupted. The next morning that ole seal was still there sleeping as seals do, I guess. Again I tried to get a shot with Gandalf in the frame ( and again I failed) but at least it was quite early and no garrulous males were wandering around. At that time of day. a "Good morning" is more than adequate. Well, imagine my surprise looking out of the window later that morning when there she is again (after all I had been informed that it was a female and who am I to query?) This time she was swimming in a very leisurely manner around the boat float. As we were going shopping anyway, we nipped out as quick as we could to see if we could have a closer sighting of her swimming around. We weren't disappointed as the video shows. It seems wholly weird to me to see a marine mammal of this size just chilling out in full view of everyone and with the town life and activity taking place all around. The pessimist in me says that perhaps it is sick and / or dying but hopefully that is not the case. It is even more exciting to be able to see this going on from my own home. That is something other worldly even if the captured image falls short of the idea as can be seen below and could just as easily be a shot of the Loch Ness monster. Still there were a few good shots that I haven't posted and I haven't yet had the nerve to get out my actual camera and lenses because I have watched others ( tourists mostly I think) walking about like that here and frankly it looks weird. So, there you have it. All the excitement of a grey seal and not a reference to The Xandrian Quarters , or did I just!

A jollof is a Nigerian dish of rice cooked with tomatoes. It is another of those one-pot dishes that pop up in the culinary landscape when one looks for them. Typically of most one-pot dishes, it is not very photogenic. I discovered this by accident in a news article somewhere about a world record attempt on a huge jollof. I have no interest in the world record aspect but the idea of the meal appealed and so, naturally enough , I investigated it. Recently I have discovered a real pleasure in one-pot dishes (sad but true) and this seemed to add a few more ideas to my studies. The principal dish is vegetarian but it lends itself to adding meat if required. This version uses beef short ribs. Recipe 2 cups long grain rice 2 cups beef stock 2 cups water 4 fresh tomatoes ( chopped up small) 1 large red onion ( finely chopped) 1 large red pepper (diced) 4 garlic cloves (chopped) 20g grated fresh ginger 2 tbsp tomato puree 1 tbsp sun dried tomato puree / paste 2 bay leaves 1 tbsp medium curry powder 1 tsp smoked paprika (dulce) no 1 tsp hot chilli powder 1 tsp dried thyme Oil for frying. (I used about 1 tbsp of olive oil) The recipes I have seen also use goat or chicken. Goat isn't readily available in Dartmouth unfortunately and it is always good to have an alternative to chicken. on this occasion therefore, I used 3 beef short ribs for which were slow cooked in the sauce before adding the rice. There is nothing to say that this cant be a vegetarian dish as indeed it usually is i believe. I'll do one of those on another occasion with a mix of aubergine, long stemmed broccoli, lentils and potatoes and a vegatable stock. Method Pre heat the oven to 140C (fan). Rinse the rice until the water runs clear and then leave to soak in warm water for about an hour. Next add the oil to your cooking pot( which should be large enough to cook the whole dish in the oven with a close fitting lid) and heat. Add the chopped onions and fry for 5 minutes. Then add the diced peppers , the garlic and the minced ginger and fry for a further 2 minutes stirring to prevent anything sticking or burning. Add the dry spices and stir well then after about a minute , drop in the chopped tomatoes and continue to cook for another 5 minutes. When the tomatoes are beginning to soften add the bay leaves ; the puree and the puree paste and stir well. Add the beef stock and water and then the dried thyme. Season at this point before adding the beef short ribs ( about 3 or 500g). Leave on the job to heat for a further 5 minutes and then place in centre of preheated oven. Cook for about 4 hours. Remove pan from oven and check the meat. If it is falling off the bone then you are ready to add the rice. If not put back in oven for a further 30 minutes. Drain the rice and add it carefully to the pot. Stir carefully to distribute and the lid and return the pot to the oven. Turn the oven up to 160C ( fan) and cook for a further 40 minutes or until the rice is cooked. Remove from oven and serve. Observations Instead of the fresh tomatoes you can use a 440g tin of chopped. If using chicken, use boneless thigh and flavour or marinade it to your choice. (Maybe garlic yoghurt and hot paprika.) Instead of adding beef stock and water, add chicken stock and water and then add the marinaded chicken thighs before burying them with rice as per the method above. i.e. Replace the high-lighted text in the method with the following: Add two cups of chicken stock instead of beef and the water and then the dried thyme. Season at this point before adding the marinaded chicken thighs (500g). Careful the cooking liquor will still be quite hot. If using vegetables, prepare your vegetables approrpiately depending on cooking time and add them with 2 cups of veteable stock and 2 cups of water and the thyme before the rice is added.

Migas, in Spain and Portugal at least is a popular meal that uses up left over bread. The name comes from the Spanish word for crumbs. Originally it was eaten as a breakfast dish. Indeed, Cervantes makes reference to it through Sancho Panza in Don Quixote Part II Chapter LIX. Sancho Panza “I’ll be hanged, gentlemen, if the author of this book you have in your hands wants us to make good migas together! I’d wish that, since he calls me a glutton—as you say—he wouldn’t also call me a drunkard.” Here it is an idiom of the time for "getting on together" or being "good friends" reflecting the fact that migas would have been eaten from a communal dish. Cervantes is voicing Sancho's vocal disapproval of his creator in a way that is typical of the genius that he is. One of the subliminal influences on The Collector of Tales . Migas is now included as lunch , as tapas or as an evening meal. The following recipe is very much my take on the migas manchegas and includes bacon ( in this case actually it is jamon serrano and chorizo). This is not a New World migas. Ingredients 300g stale bread 300g chorizo 50g jamon serrano thinly sliced and diced 1 large red onion 1 large red pepper Some green olives Olive oil 1 large salt-preserved lemon 4 cloves garlic Some dried oregano Greek yoghurt Smoked paprika Method Break up the stale bread in to bite-size chunks and set aside. Chop up the salted lemon into small pieces, keeping some of the juice. NOTE: These are salty beasts so only add the juice if you think the dish is not salty enough for your tastes. DO NOT ADD ANY ADDITIONAL SALT TO THIS DISH as it will make it unpalatable. Chop the red onion roughly (i.e not fine diced but chopped with attitude). In a large pan ( we use the base of a metal tagine), add a good portion of oil and heat until , well. hot I suppose. Add the onion and stir to prevent sticking or burning. Turn down the heat (or move it to the cooler plate on the Aga) and allow to cook for about 5 minutes. Peel, crush and chop the garlic and also slice the chorizo into rounds. Add both meats and garlic to the pan and stir in with the onions and cook for a further 5 minutes or so. Add the chunks of stale bread and olives and a good pinch of dried oregano and mix in well, adding more olive oil as you see fit - this is a dish rich in olive oil! Keep over a low heat for a further 10 minutes, checking occasionally to make sure that it is not sticking. Meanwhile chop up the pepper into whatever size pieces you prefer and then add to the pan with the olives and salted lemon. Cover and put in oven for a further 10 to 20 minutes. Serve with some Greek yoghurt and a sprinkling of smoked paprika. Perhaps a little lollo rosso. Observations There is a real risk of over salting this dish. Jamon and salted lemons and olives all hold a lot of salt so don't even think about adding any extra and go carefully with the quantities of preserved lemons. The other main variables are the amount of chorizo you want to include; the degree of staleness of the bread which can vary cooking time; and, the amount of olive oil you are happy to add to the meal.

This is a simple recipe adapted slightly from the BBC Good Food website and a couple of other recipes that I have read cookery books. It feels distinctly Xandrian in style in which world I would have flame roasted the vegetables over an open fire before pounding them into a rough soup. If the Collector of Tales has a copy of a recipe scribbled down somewhere in one of his journals, then he hasn’t shared it with me. However I’m not in that other world and so I have settled for an electric fan oven at 160C! Simple fare for a light lunch to assist me in my quest to reduce weight without the aid of chemicals or special diets. Overnight I have managed to reduce my BMI to 29.7 and so I can now with satisfaction declare that I am no longer obese according to the NHS web site. Now there’s a comfort and I can look forward to the slog all the way to a 79kg upper limit acceptable weight, somewhere out there on the distant horizon a little under 15kg away. Ingredients 1 kg butternut squash 2 large red pepper 2 large onions 1 whole garlic bulb 3 tbsps (approximately) olive oil 2 tsp ground cumin 3 tbsp ground coriander 2 tbsp rose harissa paste 100 ml double cream 500 ml Chicken stock This makes for a very thick soup. You could double the stock or add water to thin it a little and you can of course use vegetable stock instead. Method Peel and cube the squash and place on a large oven tray on greaseproof paper. Peel and roughly chop the onions and red peppers and arrange on greaseproof paper on another oven tray. Slice the base off the garlic and add to the tray with onions. Drizzle both sets of vegetables with olive oil and sprinkle over the spices. Place in oven that has been heated to 160C . Roast for about 45 minutes. When done carefully squeeze out the garlic cloves from the bulb into a large saucepan. Add the roasted vegetables and the stock and the harissa paste. Blitz with a stick blender until smooth and then add the cream and heat until boiling. Serve with freshly toasted croutons. The soup sgould be sweet, spicy and rich with a thick texture. Serves four at about 300 calories per portion ( excluding croutons). Cost about £8.20 at current prices.